Fanfare for the College Man.

“ Here’s why I think Amy and Rory’s relationship does not work: season five, Rory puts an almost dead Amy into the Pandorica, which can sustain her, but can’t revive her until it gets more of her DNA. Rory puts on a Roman outfit, defends the box until he meets a seven-year-old Amy and gets the DNA he needs…that HAS to give him the upper hand in the relationship FOREVER. I bet he brings that up whenever they have a disagreement, you know? I bet he’s like, ‘Okay, I want Chinese, you want Italian. Honey, I had plenty of Italian in Rome…during the Great Fire. You read about it in books, I dragged your limp body out of there in a thirteen-thousand KILOGRAM impenetrable box, so, get your chopsticks!’ Or, ‘I’m not listening to you? Well, maybe my ears are still ringing from the air raid siren, during the London blitzkrieg, when I saved you from getting killed by the fucking Nazis? But you want more kids, your biological clock is ticking? My ACTUAL CLOCK was ticking for TWO MILLENNIA. It was actually 1894 years, but I feel like I’ve earned the right to round up! Also, we already had a kid and now it’s a weird, forty-five-year-old lady who’s hitting on our Doctor friend. So, let’s not make that mistake again.’ ”